Episode 1

ICY: By popular demand, I'm here with a new, to be determined, series.
DRATINI: Great...
(Icy sweatdrops)
ICY: Anyway. Some of you may a few posts of mine have little conversations at the ends...
DRATINI: BORING...
ICY: {clears throat} As I was saying... You may have noticed conversations between Icy and his pokés after posts. This is going to now be a small series. Here goes...
DRATINI: Oh great. Time to make a fool of myself in front of a live audience. Oh well...

== Curtain opens ==

ICY: OK. What do we have planned for today's show?
DRATINI: Nothing.
ICY: Wrong answer.
ODDISH: Can I be in the show?
DRATINI: {chases Oddish} No! Get back in that planter now!
ODDISH: ODDISH!!! {runs from Dratini}
ICY: Would you two quite down. We're live!
CATERPIE: Look at me. I'm so cute!
ICY: Yes. Look at the wonderful Caterpie that I have.
(All 10 of Icy's Caterpie appear on stage)
CATERPIE: Now what do I do?
ICY: I'm not sure.
DRATINI: Bury Oddish in dirt!
ODDISH: Help me!
CATERPIE: If Oddish grows more leaves, can I nibble on them?
ICY: NO!!! No eating other pokemon.
HORSEA: I get to water the Oddish.
(Dratini stuffs Oddish into the planter and Horsea begins watering it)
ODDISH: Somebody help me. I'm drowning... {blub blub blub}
DRATINI: I think you over watered her.
HORSEA: She needed it.
(All the sudden, Ash appears on stage.)
ASH: Hey Pikachu, how did you get here?
ICY: What??? You must be really dumb to confuse me with your Pikachu.
ASH: Wow, you can talk.
ICY: {mutters} I can talk. Of course I can talk. Don't you read my stories...
(Somewhere in the audience) MTSOWBUG: I do! I've read every last one.
ICY: You have way too much time on your hands.
(Ash is getting closer to Icy)
ICY: Stay back. I'm warning you.
ASH: You don't scare me. Now come here. I want to capture you.
ICY: Nobody tries to capture Icy!
(Icy charges his psy-electric sphere)
ASH: Wow. Look at the colors...
ICY: So easily amazed. Too bad its time for you to leave...
(Icy fires the sphere at Ash sending him somewhere...)
ICY: Ahh... Now, where were we?
ODDISH: You were going to rescue me...
ICY: I don't see that in the script...
ODDISH: Darn...
ICY: I need to give my pokemon names. Don't you all agree?
AUDIENCE: Sure, why not?
ICY: Ok... Any suggestions... Aw, on second thought, I'll figure that out in another... {whispers} next que-card quick {regular talk} in another episode. Yeah... Moving along.
BUTTERFREE: I want a really nice name, like Buttercup!
ICY: Ok... Buttercup it is! Everyone, meet the newest member of my team, Buttercup!
AUDIENCE: Hi Buttercup!
BUTTERCUP (Butterfree): I feel special now!
ODDISH: I don't...
DRATINI: Sure you do. Does anyone else here get to be a plant?
ODDISH: Does anyone else WANT to be a plant?
DRATINI: Point noted...
ABRA: Am I ever going to evolve?
ICY: I don't know. Do you want to?
ABRA: Maybe... I'm not sure.
ICY: Well, you think about it.
NIDORAN: Why don't I ever get to battle? I can evolve too...
ICY: That's a good question. Ask Oddish.
NIDORAN: Ok. Hey, wait a second.
ICY: Just ask Oddish. She knows more than me on the subject.
(Nidoran joins Dratini, Horsea, and Oddish)
ICY: Well, that about wraps up this episode of PokéChat. Don't miss the next episode where we do something interesting. I hope. For now, good night.
(Curtain falls)

Episode 2

{ Funny intro music plays in background }
ANNOUNCER: And now, it's time for Icy's PokéChat!
{ Audience applauds }
ICY: Thank you, thank you! Great to be here. We have a great show lined up for you tonight. So, let's get started.

{ Dratini slithers out on stage }
DRATINI: Uhhh… Here we go again… Well, hi everybody. Icy has some special guest appearances planned for tonight but didn't tell me about them, so I'm here to do something funny. Oh, that's easy.
{ Dratini brings out Oddish and planter }
AUDIENCE: BOOOO!!! We saw that one already!!!
ODDISH: Sheww. This is my lucky day.
DRATINI: (to Oddish) Think again planty! (to Audience) No, tonight we won't be burying Oddish, we're gonna show you some neat Oddish hairstyles!
ODDISH: NOOOOOO!!!!!
DRATINI: Hehehe…
ICY: Ummm, maybe some other time. That's all for those two. And now…
{ Caterpie squad comes out }
CATERPIE: Can we be in tonight's show?
ICY: It already started. See all the people.
CATERPIE: Oh. Can we be in the show anyway?
ICY: I'll find a place to fit you in. Now let's meet our first guest, Drew!
DREW: Hi Icy.
ICY: Hi Drew. So, tell us what you've been up to lately.
DREW: Well, I've been adventuring on the Pokémon Island for a while.
ICY: I hear it's been a neat expedition there. Team Rocket and everything
DREW: They have silver Butterfree there too.
ICY: Silver Butterfree. Darn, I should've gone. I want one. Maybe they can ship one to me.
DREW: Maybe not…
ICY: Well, it's been great having you on the show, but I'm afraid we've run out of time for guests now. Bye!
DREW: Uh. Ok, goodbye Icy.
{ Drew walks off stage }
ICY: Shew, grad that's over. Mental note, no more guests.
{ Ash suddenly comes crashing through the ceiling }
ICY: Darn it. We just got that fixed!
ASH: Oh no, it's that evil talking Pikachu again.
ICY: Darn right. Get off my stage now or you can orbit the moon again!
ASH: Ok, ok, just don't do anything rash.
ICY: Like this…
{ Icy fires psy-balls at Ash, hurling him through the exit }
ICY: Cya Ashy-boy.
HORSEA: Icy, where's Oddish and Dratini?
ICY: I don't know.
HORSEA: Ok, I'll look for them.
ICY: You do that.
BUTTERCUP: Hello. Remember me?
AUDIENCE: Aww. How cute!!
BUTTERCUP: Icy, what do I do tonight?
ICY: I'm not sure. Go find me the script and I'll tell you.
BUTTERCUP: Ok. { flies off }
NIDORAN: It's my turn to do something.
ICY: What do you want to do.
NIDORAN: I'm going to… I gonna… I…
DRATINI: You're gonna leave. { kicks Nidoran off stage } That takes care of that.
ICY: That was mean.
DRATINI: I know.
ODDISH: Please save me, Dratini's gone mad.
ICY: That's old news…
CATERPIE: Dratini, we can help cut Oddishes hair.
ICY: I said no eating Oddish.
CATERPIE: But we're Caterpie, we eat leaves.
DRATINI: They'll grow back.
ICY: {Takes Oddish from Dratini} No hurting Oddish.
ODDISH: Thanks Icy.
{Loud crash is heard}
ICY: Now what?
AUDIENCE: It's Team Rocket!
{Jessie and James do their motto}
JESSIE: You're coming with us Icy.
JAMES: Yes, you and that talking Pikachu.
{Jessie knocks James on the head}
JESSIE: You idiot, that is Icy!
JAMES: Owhowwwhww…
ICY: Get off my stage at once. Don't make me get angry.
JESSIE: Oh. I'm scared. Look James, the little Pikachu wants to play rough.
ICY: DIE!!! { sends two large psy-spheres at Jessie and James }
JESSIE & JAMES: Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again…
ICY: Bye. Hey, where's Meowth?
BUTTERCUP: Help me!!!
MEOWTH: Come back you little butterfly.
ICY: {shocks Meowth} Keep your dirty paws off my pokémon. Ok, that's it show's over!
DRATINI: NOOO!!! I want to show the nice people some Oddish hairstyles still.
ICY: Next time. Good night everybody.
{Meowth is taken away by the Pika-guards}
MEOWTH: No, get off. Help m….
{one of the guards sticks a ball of yarn in Meowth's mouth}
ICY: Hehehe. Cya!
{Curtain falls, and closing music is played}

Episode 3

(Curtain opens)
ICY: Hello everyone! Welcome to the greatest show in the pokéworld universe!
(Icy looks around)
ICY: That's odd... Hyper usually is out here ready to insult me around now.
(Screams are heard backstage. Leafy comes running out with Hyper close behind)

LEAFY: Help me!
HYPER: Get back here! You're not ready yet!
ICY: Hyper, what are you doing to Leafy now?
HYPER: Uhh... I'm getting her ready for my segment on Oddish hairstyles.
ICY: I thought I told you no hurting Leafy anymore.
HYPER: It wouldn't hurt if she would just stay still.
LEAFY: Please keep him away from me.
ICY: Hyper, stay away from Leafy.
HYPER: But, my act...
ICY: Ohh, just juggle Jigglypuffs.
(Hundreds of Jigglypuffs fall from the ceiling)
SOMEONE IN AUDIENCE: Aghh! Evil Jigglypuffs!
(One of the Jigglypuffs jumps on him and starts drawing on his face. Audience laughs hysterically.)
ICY: Hmm. That was unexpected...
PIN: I'll save us! (readies pin attack)
ICY: No, wait!
(Pin fires its needles at the Jigglypuffs popping them and sending tons of Jigglydebris everywhere.)
ICY: Ohhh... (sweatdrops)
CATERPIES: Is it time for our segment yet.
ICY: Don't think so. It's now time for our special guest, Mimic!
(Mimic appears on stage and turns into microphone, then plugs himself into studio's audio system)
ICY: Hi Mimic. It's been a while since we last met. Thanks for being a guest on the show.
MIMIC: You welcome. Mimic glad be here.
ICY: Ok. Let's get started. What have been your current adventures in the PokéWars?
MIMIC: Most recent? Meet Aerie, Seth, and Slasher. Seth be Mimic's son from future, with Maria. If Seth's future is true future, then Maria pregnant right now, though she not know, and she think James is father when she find out. Mimic let happen.
ICY: What? But Seth's your SON! How can you just abandon him?
MIMIC: Mimic no abandon! Seth turn out fine. Better, in fact, than if Mimic raise. Consider: as child, Seth think he human. Seth raised as human. Everyone accept as normal. But, what if Seth know he not normal? Others would learn. Seth doubt self, no have chance for normal childhood. No, child Seth better off without Mimic...not that Mimic not look in from time to time. (Besides, Mimic with Seth anyway...just not always with *child* Seth.)
ICY: If you're looking to keep a secret, telling everyone like this seems a weird way to do it.
MIMIC: Is ok. Is NC. ^_^
ICY: Do you have any other family?
MIMIC: Have Doppler. He brother...by raising only. No know who Mimic parents are. Oak raise Mimic from earliest memory, until Rockets take Mimic. Maybe Doppler is biological brother, maybe not. But then, Mimic no remember Oak until after escape Rockets. Maybe is more of Mimic past Mimic no can remember right now. (That would explain rumors Mimic hear of other Dittos who can shape-shift into other than pokémon.)
MIMIC: Aerie Doppler daughter from future, thus Mimic niece. No know all sources of DNA for Aerie; Doppler probably one of several. He try engineer Aerie be perfect. Seth opinion aside, Aerie not quite perfect.
(Mimic quickly glances off-stage; Seth and Aerie are too absorbed in each other to notice his comment)
MIMIC: Also count all pokémon - and all life - as family, if trace back far enough. That include Icy.
ICY: To what extent can you shape-shift?
MIMIC: No know full limits. Suspect can not be singularity, or mathematically impossible shapes. *Have* done wide range, under both Oak and Rockets. Mimic no can separate into multiple pieces, so must have at least thread connecting if want be, say, Pidgey and Diglett at once. Also can be machines, or anything else Mimic see. Mimic no seen Mew, Mewtwo, or Legendaries, but no particularly want to, after seeing what copying Mewtwo turn Doppler into. Besides, plenty of more powerful non-pokémon things can turn into.
ICY: Most Dittos can't shape-shift into anything other than another pokémon, and even then, only when they can see the other pokémon. What makes you different?
MIMIC: Oak train Mimic to remember. Was experiment. Work very well. Research help create new pokémon species: Porygons. No many Dittos can remember, but papers on research still around...buried in Oak's research computer network, most likely, but still there. Nobody dig enough to find knowledge, so as if knowledge no exist at all...is sad, really. Lots of idea treasure out there, if people only think to look. But, is life. Maybe people no look because papers have scary aura of 'science' on them...but no need be scared. Mimic read research; is easy to understand, if never give up try to understand, and you translate everything into words you *can* understand.
MIMIC: As for shape-shift into other than pokémon...Mimic guess most trainers and Dittos never think to try. Was never problem for Mimic. But, Mimic hear "pokémon only battle pokémon"; think probably taint trainers' view of Dittos...and taint thoughts and actions of wild Dittos that trainers fight against. And, if never try, never *do*, for any action.
ICY: Where are you from?
MIMIC: No know. Suspect Ditto fields near Victory Road. Oak forget where find Mimic. If need hometown for Mimic, can call Pallet Town home, since that where Oak's lab is...but that not very accurate. Could call Cinnabar lab where Mimic usually stay when with Rockets 'home', but that even less accurate. And Mimic no remember life before Oak, so even Victory Road no is 'home'. Mimic is citizen of world, no any particular part of it.
ICY: Who would you say are your current friends and enemies?
MIMIC: Mimic count everyone as friend, unless have reason not to. No really have enemies right now, though would not mind see Team Rocket disband.
ICY: But some friends are closer than others, right?
MIMIC: Well...yes, Mimic suppose.
ICY: What about Doppler? He's your brother, and yet...
MIMIC: (angry) Doppler not really enemy - he just misled!
ICY: 'Misled'? He leveled two cities, killed hundreds, and he's just 'misled'?!?
MIMIC: That right. Doppler powerful, so make bigger mistakes, but at heart, Doppler no inherently evil. Powerful mistakes hurt everyone more, so everyone *think* Doppler more evil just because do more bad things. If Doppler weak, everyone think Doppler be just another Ditto, no really good or bad. In any case, Mimic hope can restore Doppler sanity someday.
ICY: How optimistic.
MIMIC: Mimic have to be. Mimic see what opposite is, in Doppler. If Doppler cause mass harm, and Mimic potentially as powerful as Doppler, can Mimic cause mass good? Mimic no know how, but Mimic sure Mimic find way if Mimic keep trying.
MIMIC: Mimic surprised few humans as powerful as Mimic. Humans created Porygon, so presumably can create other things as powerful, or even more powerful, than Mimic. But...again, no *try*, no *do*, ever. Mimic slightly disappointed no more people even *try* mass good, at least no in ways have any chance success, but Mimic must work with world Mimic find Mimic in. Is life.
ICY: What would you say is your mission, your purpose in life?
MIMIC: Mimic want to be the very best, like no Ditto ever was! ^_^
ICY: Well thanks so much for being a guest on the show...
MIMIC: Mimic glad be here. Need break from reality from time to time. Now, Mimic have question: how know Mimic is Mimic, not Doppler?
ICY: We set up...'arrangements' for Doppler, so he would not bother us.
(The camera cuts away to show Doppler watching replays of Minax's latest kills. Most of the gore is blocked out by the camera's angle, but the NC-hearts floating over Doppler are not.)
MIMIC: (sweatdrops) Mimic see. Mimic think Mimic be going now, before Mimic use up lifetime allotment of impossible sights.
(Mimic disappears while Caterpies come out again.)
CATERPIES: Now can we do our segment?
HYPER: No, I still haven't done mine yet.
ICY: You're not allowed to do your segment. No hurting Leafy.
LEAFY: Shewww...
CATERPIES: Ok. For our first act, we will build the tower of Caterpies!
(Audience cheers. Caterpies form a cute pyramid and Buttercup appears on top of it. Audience cheers again.)
ICY: Very nice. You all look very cute!
CATERPIES: Thanks. And now for the finale!
(Buttercup flutters above them. The Caterpies freeze the pyramid with their string shot. Buttercup flutters behind and blasts it with her pysbeam. A multi-colored image of the pyramid flies over the audience.)
AUDIENCE: Owwwww... Ahhhhhh....
(Buttercup takes a bow and they all leave the stage.)
ICY: Well. That will be a tough one to top.
CASSIDY: (From up on the rafters.) We can top that.
BUTCH: Allow us to introduce ourselves.
CASSIDY: To infect the world with devastation!
BUTCH: To blight all people in every nation!
CASSIDY: To denounce the goodness of truth and love!
BUTCH: To extend our wrath to the stars above!
CASSIDY: Cassidy!
BUTCH: Butch!
CASSIDY: We're Team Rocket, circling earth day and night!
BUTCH: Surrender to us now or you'll surely lose the fight!
CASSIDY & BUTCH: That's Right!
(Audience cheers.)
BUTCH: Why are they cheering? They must like us.
ICY: Nope. Your motto is just better. That's all.
CASSIDY: Enough talk, come with us Icy.
BUTCH: The rest of you can kindly deposit your pokéballs in this sack.
ICY: DIE!!!
(Icy attempts to electrocute them but is unsuccessful.)
BUTCH: You underestimate us. We're much smarter than those pushovers Jessie and James.
(Suddenly, Jigglypuffs and Voltorbs fall from the ceiling covering Butch and Cassidy.)
CASSIDY: This can't be good...
(KABOOMM!!! Butch and Cassidy are covered in pink goo and charred. They run out of the studio in terror.)
ICY: That's it! Show's over! Cya next time people!
(Curtain falls, literally.)
ICY: Aghh! Well, that's another thing to add to the expenses...

Episode 4

ICY: Good evening everyone, welcome to the show!
HYPER: I thought we got canceled.
ICY: Nah… Producer forgot to write stuff…
HYPER: Oh… Ok…

ICY: Anyways, as I was saying… It’s be a very long time since we did a show… I’m not even a Pikachu any more…
HYPER: Nope, you’re human all right.
BUTTERCUP: And I’m back again!
ICY: Aww, yes, Buttercup’s alive again!
LEAFY: Yeh, and Hyper can’t hurt me anymore.
HYPER: Wanna bet? { Chases Leafy }
LEAFY: AGHHHHH!
ICY: You two never learn do you?
BUTTERCUP: Icy, what’s the purpose of tonight’s show?
ICY: I haven’t a clue as usual. I was thinking of just doing what we always do. Hire somebody stupid enough to come on the show as a special guest. They always fall for it!
BUTTERCUP: Ok. The Caterpie and me are going to put on an act anyways then.
ICY: Go for it.
{ Buttercup is joined by Aura, Flutter, and the Caterpie. They all begin to wiggle around while the three Butterfree fly overhead letting out different color powders. The audience cheers while awe. }
HYPER: How come no one every cheers for me?
ICY: Because you’re always mean to Leafy.
HYPER: Giving her a haircut isn’t mean.
ICY: Oh stop complaining. Hey look, it’s our producer, Frosterpie!
FROSTERPIE: Hello everyone. Ok, the show’s going broke. We need your money to stay on the air. So, if you’d all kinda give us everything you have, we’ll continue on. Kay?
{ Audience goes along with it and those opposed are hit with Wigglytuff bats. }
ICY: Thank you… Ummmm, yeah, don’t forget to make a donation.
JESSIE: And you can give all your pokémon to us!
JAMES: Yes. We’re broke too…
JESSIE: Shut up you.
MEOWTH: Both of you shad up. Ok people, hand over the pokéballs, NOW!
ICY: You guys never know when to quit.
FROSTERPIE: Oh no, I see another bill coming…
{ Icy uses his telekinesis to send TR flying through the roof }
FROSTERPIE: Ohhh, that’s another reason we’re broke.
ICY: Well, I think it’s time for tonight’s special guest. Please welcome Jose!
JOSE: Hey.
ICY: So, I hear you’ve been spending some time in hell.
JOSE: Huh? Oh yeah, San Antonio. It’s like...
ICY: No, I meant Trent in hell.
JOSE: Oh. Yeah, he’s in hell.
ICY: Do you miss training your old pokémon.
JOSE: There wasn’t much training left. Besides, I still write for Sandslash, whenever Otaku lets me...
ICY: So...I here you hate Pikachu.
JOSE: Yeah, I hate Pikachu. Those damn show-stealing freaks...I should track down and kill every last one of them!
ICY: *gulp*
HYPER: Hey, you’re human, remember?
ICY: Oh yeah!
JOSE: What?
ICY: Nothing. So, why did you send Trent to hell?
JOSE: Yes.
ICY: Huh?
JOSE: What?
ICY: I asked you a question.
JOSE: Oh sorry. I’ve been having trouble concentrating recently.
ICY: So, why did you kill him off?
JOSE: You’ll see. he may be dead, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have plans for him!
ICY: Oh. You still have 2 active WG’s besides Trent. Do you have plans for them.
JOSE: Actually, I do. Katherine will show up again and Joey will become a major character.
ICY: Well, that’s all the time we have for you tonight Jose. Thanks for being on the show.
JOSE: No problem. Can me anytime you’re interested in roast Pikachu.
ICY: Uhh, yeah. And now, I give you, the sensational Neptune!
NEPTUNE: Horsea!!! Thank you, thank you.
AUDIENCE: Awwww, how cute!
{ Neptune dives into a pool that just so happens to be on stage. She does some cute tricks and the audience claps more. }
NEPTUNE: Thank you!
ICY: Great act Neptune, you really know how to get the crowd going.
HYPER: Unlike you.
ICY: { sweatdrops } Uhhh… You be quiet… Well, I believe it’s time to meet out second special guest tonight, Meeko!
MEEKO: Yep, they’re my favorite Pokémon, and here’s Caterpie!
CATERPIE: Hi, I’m the star of this show now so, if everyone wouldn’t mind, please draw your attention to me- { Meeko’s Bulbasaur wraps his vines around Caterpie and forces him offstage }
ICY: { sweatdrops } Being new to the PokéWars, what do you think so far?
MEEKO: It’s great, except for the Rocket’s attacking me, and hitting me with Wiggly Grenades.....
ICY: Yeah, you have any plans?
MEEKO: Not that I know of, I have plans for Mewtwo, but, that’s about it so far.... well I want to be a Pokémon Master.....
ICY: Thanks for being on the show Meeko. I’m sure everyone will be awaiting you next stories. Well… Uh, advance the script…
TELEPROMPTER: Oh, sorry.
ICY: Ahh, much better. Ok, Well, now we will have a skit done by Aura and Seedy and some other various pokémon.
{ Aura, Seedy and others come onto stage. The backdrop changes to be an open field. }
SEEDY: Bulba bulba saur… [ It’s a very nice day out. ]
AURA: Rrreeeee… [ Uh huh! ]
{ Suddenly, Marshmallow pops up on stage. }
MARSHMALLOW: Jiggly! { takes out mic and sings }
ICY: Oh no… Not a Ji…
{ Everyone falls asleep. A minutes later, they awaken to very colorful faces. }
ICY: Ohh… I just had the most wonderful dream.
HYPER: Uh oh, we’re out of time Icy.
ICY: Huh! Darn Jigglypuff… Oh well, we weren’t getting anywhere’s fast anyways.
HYPER: No wait, we still have about 5 minutes to kill.
PIN: I want a part in the show.
HYPER: You blew it last time, literally!
PIN: It slipped… I won’t do it again.
HYPER: No, you’re fired. { Hyper takes Pin and throws her offstage. }
ICY: Hyper, stop being evil.
HYPER: That’s not evil, that’s comedy.
STATIC: PIKA!!!
HYPER: Huh? What?
STATIC: Look up there!
JESSIE: Did you miss us?
ICY: Not really…
JAMES: Well that’s just too bad because we’re back.
ASH: Hey, where did that Pikachu go.
ICY: Oh Goddish. What are you doing back here again?
ASH: Hey, you sound just like that Pikachu that shocked me the last time.
ICY: Boy, you learn quick. Time to go now. { uses telekinesis to send Ash flying into TR and they all blast off } Cool, killed two Pidgeys with one Geodude.
HYPER: Bad pun.
FROSTERPIE: Ummm, we’re out of time.
ICY: No, we still have a minute.
FROSTERPIE: Nope, ran out of money for the minute… Cya!